Want a Bagel?

334,336 notes

slimiest:

a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”

(Source: tinymaw, via moriarty)

64,233 notes

markus-of-nuttus:

demispooky:

male teachers arent allowed to dress code female students anymore at my school because somebody pointed out that if they had been dress coded for their shorts/skirt being too short or their bra showing by a male teacher, that meant said male teacher was looking at her ass and boobs i am laughing my fucking ass off

where is the lie tho

(via loki-odinpun)